


The Contra Bunch

by RationalLogic1999



Category: ContraPoints
Genre: F/F, My personal apologies to Natalie Wynn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 05:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15988718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RationalLogic1999/pseuds/RationalLogic1999
Summary: Have you ever wondered about what crazy shenanigans happen in a house where the Contrapoints characters live together? No? Well fuck you, I wrote it anyway.





	The Contra Bunch

The door swung open, bumping into the wall.

Justine’s voice was resigned. “Goddamnit, Tabby, didn’t you go to the supermarket?”

“Supporting unethical businesses is really ba-”  
  
“Yes, yes, I know, bad praxis. But couldn’t you get bread at least? I thought you people liked bread.”

“Have you even read Kropotkin?”

“No! Some of us have lives, Tabby!” Justine sighed. “What are we going to eat for dinner tonight?”

“I don’t really care what you neoliberal class traitors do. I’m going out with my girlfriend tonight.”

“Weren’t you in a poly… something? How do you have a girlfriend?”

“Well, one of them.”

Justine threw up her hands. “Regardless, the rest of us still need to eat, Tabby. You’re gonna have to pull your weight while you’re staying here.”

Tabby sighed. “Eat the rich, I don’t know.”

As if called, a figure clad in black leather entered the room. “Hallo, Leute!”

“Oh, God,” Tabby said.

“I hear you lovely arya- I mean housemates have some problems with food, ja?”

Justine lit up. “Oh, would you mind getting some, Freya?”

“Of course. It’s the least I could do for-”

Tabby had stood up and was pointing her bat at Freya. “Get out of my room before I beat your face so bloody your mother wouldn’t recognise you.”

Freya rolled her eyes and backed out of the room, closing the door behind her.

“Damnit, Tabby, you always do this,” said Justine, “I’ll go see if I can still get her to run the errand.”

“Why do we even let her stay here? She’s a nazi!” Tabby threw out her arms in exasperation, one still holding on to the bat.

Justine shrugged her shoulders. “She pays the rent,” she said, quietly.

As Justine exited the room, Tabby found herself following after her. They walked to the hall, where Abigail sat on a wooden chair, mindlessly looking at her phone, Freya having planted herself next to her.

“What are you two doing out here? The living room must be more comfy.” Justine asked.

Abigail sighed. “Jackie is doing her dumb show again, so it’s off limits for the next half hour, by decree of Queen Natalie.” She said the last words in a nasally, mocking tone.

“Is Adria in there?” Tabby asked.

“Yeah, and some other degen-”

Tabby cut her off. “Thanks.” She opened the door.

In the room was the usual scene, with Jackie in the middle, caked up for the camera as always, and on either side of her, her guests. Adria to her left, and a smirking brunette to her right. She had just stopped talking when Tabby came in.

“What are you doing here, sweetie?” asked Adria.

“Rescuing you from the ‘centrists’,” she said, airquoting. “Also, we have a date.”

“Oh, that’s now?” Adria checked her watch, then turned to Jackie. “I know I’m great for your views and all, but sorry, I’m out of here.” She stood up and started walking out with Tabby.

“Wait,” Jackie said, “I’m sure an antifa catgirl has some hot stuff to bring to the free marketplace of ideas. You on for next week?”

Tabby grimaced. “Let me think about it.” She held out a hand towards the camera closest to her. “And get those cameras off me, or I’ll bash your skull in!”

“Keep them rolling, Clarence! I can just taste the Youtube compilations this is going in.”

Tabby glowered at Jackie, then left the room, Adria in tow.

“Well, we’re alone,” Jackie said. “So, Blaire, what do you think this says about leftists refusing to engage in rational debate?”

 

* * *

 

“Where do you wanna go?” asked Tabby.

“There’s this really cute vegan place a few blocks from here. You are gonna stan it, just, so hard. It’s run by this really cute lesbian couple.”

“Are they communists?”

Adria put her hand on her mouth thoughtfully. “More social democrats, I think.”

Tabby breathed out. “It’s a dark world, Adria.”

They put their arms around each other and walked down the street.

 

* * *

 

Natalie sat in the sofa chair, exhausted. “So, Tabby didn’t go shopping, huh?”

“No, but Freya offered to pick up the slack,” Justine said.

“Ich will Tiefkühlpizza kaufen!” it came from the corner.

Abigail blinked rapidly. “What’s the nazi saying?”

Freya pointed a finger at her. “Ich bin nicht ein Nazi!”

“I think that’s frozen pizzas,” said Natalie.

“Uh huh. And why is she living here again?” said Abigail.

Justine held out her hand. “She pays the rent.”

Natalie stood up, looking at Freya. “Just... promise not to ask Charlene weird shit about the Jewish Question?”

“Oh, natürlich, natürlich. Ich wurde doch nie.”

Natalie waved her hand dismissively as she sat down again, and a smiling Freya got up and left the room.

Justine leaned back. “Change of subject: Where are Foppington and The Doctor? I haven’t seen them all day.”

“Probably arguing about the societal implications of the Coke vs. Pepsi debate for all I know,” said Natalie.

“Do those two ever take a break?” it came from Abigail.

“Foppington joined me and Jackie for tea the other day,” Justine said. “It was rather dull, she kept trying to steer the conversation towards bones.”

Natalie spoke up. “Can you really blame a woman for appreciating the inherent eroticism of the human skeletal structure? All of those _joints_ …”

Abigail grimaced slightly, looking towards Justine. “Is she okay?”

“Yeah, she just gets like this sometimes.”

“You people are freaks.”

“Gee, what was your first clue?”

 

* * *

 

There was a vague scent of incense in the air where Tabby and Adria were sat. At the tables around them were a wide range of people, from the expected hipsters with more metal in their faces than skin, to people in dress pants and fancy shirts, who had to have misread the dress code.

“What’s wrong, Tabbycat? You haven’t touched your salad.”

“I just… it’s these goddamn housemates, Addie. I don’t know if I can take them.”  
  
“Are they that bad?”

“A nazi, a TERF, a style-over-substance center leftie, an alcoholic Youtuber, a somehow alive 18th century bone scientist, a doctor who’s probably plotting to take over the world, and a fascist-enabling talk show host who hijacks the living room once a week. They are that bad, trust me.”

“That does sound pretty unfab.”

“You have no idea, Addie. Can’t the revolution come already?”

Adria put her hand on Tabby’s shoulder. “There’ll be a revolution, babe. A reform, at least.”

“Revolution.”  
  
“Revolution. Of course, sweet cat.”

Tabby leaned her head forward over the small table, and Adria held her close.

 

* * *

 

“This is good pizza,” Natalie mumbled, her mouth full.  
  
“Yeah. Thanks, Freya,” Justine said.

“Kein Problem.” Freya smiled wide at her.

“It’s got too much meat,” Abigail said, picking bits off of her slice.

“The lady doth protest too much, methinks,” Natalie said, devouring yet more pizza.

“Ganz recht,” Freya said.

“Could you cut that out?” it came from Abigail. “None of us speak your weird nazi language.”

“If you’re going to be like that about it,” Freya said, offended

"Oh, by the way," Natalie said, "Where's Jackie at?"

"Her and that guest went out to eat." Justine said. "Some swanky place downtown."

"Oh, so we're not good enough for her now? To think I ever went on her weird report."

"Foppingtong and The Doctor are also no-shows. Wonder what they're up to," Natalie said.  
  
Justine grabbed two plates, putting two slices on each. "I'll bring some to them. Not like we could eat all of it ourselves, anyway,"

Natalie's mouth was full again. "Speak for yourself."  
  
The door opened, and a tired Tabby entered, looking resignedly at the table.

“Oh good, supporting not just the local overlords, but the factory farming industry. Another normal day at this damn house,” Tabby said.

“You want any?” asked Justine, holding out one of the plates she was carrying.

“I’ll pass,” she replied, snidely. “I think I’ll go to bed. Wake me if there’s a fire. Or, on second thought, don’t.” She walked out, and down the hall towards her room.

“What’s her deal?” said Justine.

“Ja, wirklich.” said Freya.

 

* * *

 

She let her bat drop to the floor next to her bed, and started slowly stripping off her layers of black clothing. She laid down, grabbing her phone from the nightstand, and saw that Adria had sent her a Signal message. _“Miss you already,”_ it simply said. They wouldn’t all get the bullet, she thought to herself, smiling. She sent a heart in reply, put the phone back, and gave the rising moon a glance, before drifting off into dreams of the coming revolution.


End file.
